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Friday, June 10, 2011

Why Is It So Hard To Feel So Good? Part 2 of 2

   There will always be aspects of our lives, which get us to feel frustrated, bored, unhappy, powerless and victimized. It's far easier to feel the negative aspects of our lives, then it is to feel the positive aspects. It's just the way our brain works. Some of the goals we've achieved too easily fade into the backdrop of our lives. They become a given....like the air we breathe. We crave newness and new goals to accomplish, or our lives can start to feel stagnant. Once we reach a certain level of accomplishment, it bumps us up to a new level, where we then get exposed to and see yet another level of what we still don't have. Or we become acquainted with people around us, who seem to have more of whatever it is we want.
    Chasing some of our more illusive goals can prove upsetting and make it hard to feel successful or good in our own skin. So how do we take back our power and learn to embrace the complexity of our lives? Both the positive and negatives, without being so hard on ourselves? Not an easy question or task; I know! Part of the answer is to realize that difficult feelings about our selves and our lives are unavoidable. And it doesn't matter how well we're doing in life. Feeling negative about ourselves doesn't mean we're doing something wrong. It's just a part of the human condition. Achieving a level of happiness and satisfaction is not a final destination either, but a place to visit during our life’s journey. Hopefully it's a place we'll get to visit more often than not.
     One of the keys to feeling more content is learning how to broaden our criteria for judging ourselves.

1)    To not view our success and failures so narrowly, i.e. like based on what we have or don't have, or what we've done or not done. Sometimes gaining a more spiritual approach to life can help us. Ask the question, “Am I seeing the bigger picture in all of this?”, can also help.
2)    Learn to see obstacles as an opportunity to transform our life circumstances. Find ways to turn challenges into important life moments of inspiration and revelation.
3)     And never underestimate the power of placing supportive people, or role models in your life. Remember, no one is a one man band. We all need people in our lives to remind us of who we are and who we are meant to be; especially when we've lost our way!
4)    Look for the positive in even the most dire situations
5)    And regularly list what you're grateful for.

   We need to train our minds when it comes to being kind to ourselves. It's far easily said than done, I know, but totally worth the effort!

 Dr. Robi Ludwig is a nationally known psychotherapist, award winning reporter. She also hosted two seasons of TLC’s reality show, “One Week to Save Your Marriage” as well as , GSN’s reality game show, “Without Prejudice?”. Dr. Ludwig’s academic credentials include a doctorate in psychology (Psy.D) from the Southern California University for Professional Studies; she holds a post-masters certificate in advanced clinical work from Hunter College, a masters degree in social work from the University of Pennsylvania and a bachelor’s degree in mass communications from Cedar Crest College.

1 comment:

  1. Robi, I needed to hear this today, it was very inspirational, and you are an awesome role model, I am going to really work hard on seeing obstacles as opportunities, I will be a regular following your blog, I hope that you might read mine@ kimmydalylavoie.blogspot.com
    Thanks again, you have given me much food for thought! I am so glad you added me!!