I want to loose 20 pounds and keep it off. No yo yo, no quick off, quick on. A Lifestyle shift, (20 pounds can mean inches lost through fitness and healthy eating, just to be clear). Most importantly, I want to do it happily, lovingly, and yes, leave it off for good. Balanced and calm.
I'm generally very athletic and look like I'm in shape, but in reality, I'm not. I'm the only one who would know this and it doesn't matter what anyone says. You know what you know. I am tired, very busy juggling motherhood, relaunching a life, selling a home, filling a personal life with as many quality driven choices I can and finding time to work out just hasn't been a priority. It should but it hasn't, until now. And just so you know, I'm going to do it my way, that works for me. No yelling marine, no gym, no silly food restrictions, just me and my mind, body and spirit. Living from the neck up is like being an ostrich with its head in the sand.
Well I knew when the pain of not changing was greater than the change itself, I changed.
It came down to this, I'm tired of being tired! I want my jeans to fit nicely, to feel good in my evening dresses and date night outfits and to not let my wiggle turn into a giggle. I love my wiggle and am not interested in losing it, but the wiggle was slowly becoming a giggle and that just wasn't me. My curves and I are here to stay, I just want them to fit and fierce. Get what I'm say in? My one yoga class a week had many many wonderful benefits but was definitely not cutting it for me physically. I have always needed ways to burn my child like energy, if I don't I obsess and become a workaholic and that's also not who I am.
So far, I've been running for 3 days straight, did a spin class another morning with my friend Jodie, I have a meditation practice (was doing this already and can't live without), eat well (I love to eat and eat well, check!) and absolutely will NOT "diet" (in the conventional sense, or any sense for that matter).
I FEEL great, a little sore, but great. On my walk/run this morning, I asked "Why has it been so long"..."why isn't working out like brushing my teeth in my daily life?" Lack of time can't be the only issue.
We are told in yoga class when the student is ready, the teacher comes.
Self acceptance is a really powerful concept to grasp. I have to constantly remind myself to accept myself as is. Right now. Not when I'm 20 pounds less, or if you need, 20 pounds more. I am what I am, no less wonderful than yesterday, no less fabulous than this summer...I have built my career on walking away from the unrealistic ideals around the dangling carrot held out to millions of women and men in our country based on the notion of future happiness. Screw the carrot! We already possess what we look for.
Self acceptance is the gateway the our goals, dreams, decision, and boundaries we draw. The more accepting I am of myself, the more I am of others. More tolerant. Waiting for something or someone to make you happy, is wasted time.
I commit to move it. Breath it. Be it. Sounds easy, takes work. Daily.
Being out of breath or feeling tired running after my daughter (read tired with a whine) just didn't feel right. I was a major athlete in college, a rower no less! I know how to work out, I know how exercise graces my body...Now is all we have, at least this is what I am beginning to really know through practice. Stop waiting for something to happen and DO SOMETHING! (www.dosomething.org) My girl friend Nancy Lublin is the CEO of this incredible youth organization committed to "youth changing their world". If you need any motivation, check them out. They are doing and not waiting.
So this Monday, with running gear complete with water bottle and headband waiting at the door, I dropped my little one at school and went directly to the reservoir for a run, in the RAIN. I plod mind you, so the challenge of running whips my butt. Run, walk, run, walk, run, walk, eventually you will get there! Remembering the notion of journey and not the end result, helps!
I'd be psyched to hear from you either if you find yourself on a similar path or looking for a path of your own. Together let's leave the quick fix in the dust!
Not only am I on a similar path....I found myself resorting to the dreaded "Diet" which I swore I would never do. I started this morning walk run walk run walk.....mind you the "run" was only for two minutes each time! I felt AMAZING and had a super productive day at work. It's funny I thought of you and how we biked together in college when you were in major training mode. I couldn't pass you but I was right there behind you the whole way. now I will think of you next to me while I workout tomorrow! U just motivated me more than you will ever know.I am tired of waiting and the what if. I am doing!!! Bye Bye quick fix!
ReplyDeleteFen-Fen, Slimfast, Cayannne peper & maple syrup, all clear liquid, all protien, no carb, meridia, Ali...etc..you name it, i've done it. Sadly, even at my lowest weight i was still not happy. There was always that "it's not good enough" feeling i had. Thankfully, i have gone through that am am still here and so very blessed to still be healthy. About 1 month ago i said good riddance to all the super calorie counting, excessive exercising, and negative attitude about my body. I am trying to do exercise i enjoy doing most days of the week (no more dreading the treadmill 'cause i would force myself to be on it for over and hour and a half). I watch watch the calories i eat, but i am no longer scrutinizing every little morsel i eat. I eat because i am hungry, i am hungry because i am active. I won't say it's not a struggle some days - but now i take a conscious effort to see the things i like about myself rather than only concentrate on the things that i don't. I can change the way i look - i've already done that the wrong way - i want to change and enjoy the journey.
ReplyDeleteI am so sore tonight but happy. Made kitchen sink casserole tonight and jumped to Back to School Night. Came home and got rave reviews with the squash soup, also. Nothing left of casserole.
ReplyDeleteKitchen sink Casserole:
-3 cups cooked rice pasta(7 mins only, once water is really boiling, then drain)
-1 cup low fat cottage cheese (instead of Ricotta),
-chopped garlic and basil to taste,
-cooked and seasoned (touch of cinnamon, salt, pepper and two splashes of Bragg's) organic hamburger meat,
-one jar Trader Joe's Tomato and Vodka Sauce
-toss together and put into a shallow casserole dish, @350 for 20 minutes.
Had a big Salad with the best organic olive oil I could find and a pinch of salt. Didnt have time to cut veggies and add nuts which I usually do. mmmmm is that good.
Dont use dressing any more. The salads just taste better without it. The exception is a good Caesar salad at a good restaurant. But other than that, give me EVO and salt!
-had a 1"X 1" brownie square with nuts at the school...delish!
I'll share the squash soup later!
This is just like my journey, with all of its ups and downs. I've gone from the gung-ho "work out till I drop" mantra to "I'm beautiful just the way I am"...and on this path I've come to realize that loving myself means taking care of the body God gave me. I will always be curvy, but I want to be healthy and have energy. That is truly what it's all about for me...yes, I'm also looking forward to being more fit and wearing smaller sizes, but the main thing now is how I feel, and loving myself enough to know that I need to take responsibility and do what I need to do to get healthy. My blog shows those ups and downs, and as I look back over it I see that I needed to go through what I did to come to this point on my journey. I also want to help others on their journeys, because we are all in this together! :o)
ReplyDeleteHi Marie,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to invite you back to the blog...thank you so much for your comment here...yes, the ups and downs are REAL.
Looking forward to reading more of your work!
Have a great one,
Emme